PDM 022: 5 Signs That You Are Getting Tailgated Through Life and 3 Ways To Overcome It

Lucas P. Johnson: You know when you're driving the speed limit or slightly above it but have someone tailgating right behind you? Or maybe you are the person tailgating. Have you thought about how people may be tailgating you in your life or vice versa? This episode will be eye-opening. However, before we go any further, roll of intro.

Narrator: Welcome to the home of Project Dream Mastery. Here at PDM, we are challenging the status quo of what it means to follow your dreams and how to unlock the power those dreams will bring to your life. The show experience will be unscripted, authentic and transparent. So now sit back, relax and get inspired with your hosts, Lucas Johnson and Patryk Labuzek.

Lucas P. Johnson: Welcome to Episode 22 of the Project Dream Mastery show. Well, we help inspire you to follow your dreams, defy expectations, dream big and love deeply. My name is Lucas Johnson based out of Charlotte, North Carolina. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast to be the first to receive new episode releases. And if you're interested, this episode is available with video. So check out our website at ProjectDreamMastery.com to watch now. Today, I want to pose a serious question to you, and I want you to think long and hard about it throughout the duration of this episode. Are you getting tailgated through life or vice versa? But first, let's define tailgating. And it's not what you're thinking. I like tailgating too in the back of a parking lot or at a stadium. That's a lot of fun. But that is not what we'll be focusing on in this episode. That would be all fun and games and probably a really enjoyable topic.

Lucas P. Johnson: But tailgating is when a driver drives behind another vehicle while not leaving sufficient distance to stop without causing a collision if the vehicle in front stopped suddenly. Now this is the practical application, real life application. What if you thought about this figuratively? What if that car behind you wasn't a car, but it was a person, a place, a thing, an object, an idea, a belief, a methodology, or religion, a hobby, etc.? And the car wasn't a car, but it was just you as a person? Isn't it frustrating when a slower driver keeps you from getting where you need to go? But isn't it also frustrating when you look in your rearview mirror and see someone tailgating you? Scratching my chain here. The simple answer, yeah, it does. So now let's look at how this applies to your personal life. Let's take a look at five signs that you're getting tailgated through life. You're doing everything right, but someone else always wants more. How many times have you been stuck? Not stuck, but you just keep on moving and someone just keeps on with you, right next to you, clogging right along.

Lucas P. Johnson: Have you realized that that person might be tailgating you? That if you stop, they're also going to be halted right where they are, right where you stopped? Maybe they'll finally have to start pulling their weight. So we're gonna take a look at this from a personal lens, using that figurative example. Again, what if that car behind you wasn't a car, but it was a person, place, thing, object, idea, etc.? And the car wasn't a car, but it was just a person? Person and person, two people. You're doing everything right, but someone else always wants more. You can keep on keeping on and let life keep on going and allow that other person to take advantage of you for the rest of your life. You can allow that person to continue to get credit for your work whether that's your job, whether that's your college education, whether that's your education in general, whether that's your hobby, anything. I mean simply it's anything. Whether you are building a house and you work in construction.

Lucas P. Johnson: Are you going to let someone take credit for your brilliant work? You did a hell of a job installing that roof. You did a hell of a job with the plumbing. Are you going to let someone else take credit for your work? Hell no, absolutely not. Not happening. So you may be doing everything right, but that person's still going to be getting credit for it. So let's take a look at some of these ideas. Not even ideas, but the things, the signs that are going to show that that person is indeed taking advantage of you. And we're going to explore them in detail. Here are five. Number one, conversation is always about them or what they need and they never seem to think about you. How practical is this? Every single day, you have people in your life that are so important that you think are important, but they don't think you are important.

Lucas P. Johnson: They don't give you the time of day. They don't let you be the person that you are. They just want to talk about them, them, them, them. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. They can't write about themselves for shit, but they can talk about themselves. Unless someone asks, tell me about yourself, that's also the question that no one can seem to answer unless they have a script that they've memorized. And that goes back to effective communication which is really, really great to have something prepared like that. It's kind of like your elevator pitch. But in life, we don't have that opportunity to have everything prepared all the time. That's not life. That's not how we operate. Now if we do, something's wrong. Life is about making mistakes and learning from those mistakes. I talk about this all the time, but, you know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Lucas P. Johnson: People don't keep on doing the same thing over and over again and expecting it a different result. Just last week, I was in Miami, Florida, or 2 weeks ago now. I as in Miami, Florida. And I was trying to put a battery in my dive computer. For all of you that don't know, I am an avid diver. I love scuba diving with my father. I love scuba diving with my brothers. And I also love just going out there. I am a professional diver. I have got my dive master from Paddy a few years back in 2017. And that is something I'm proud of. But the thing that I do all the time when it comes to diving is I like to make sure all my stuff is safe. I have redundancies and so forth. So before my dive trips, if I haven't used my dive computer or any of my central equipment in a while, I like to make sure that it's up to par.

Lucas P. Johnson: And I think anyone in their natural state of mind that wants to stay alive when they're doing something that kind of defies everything that we are as humans, breathing under water, scuba diving, I like to be safe. So I was changing the battery and I kept on trying to get the seal. In scuba diving, you have to make sure these little O-rings are sealed and that water isn't gonna leak or otherwise, your equipment is going to go out. Okay? So I sat there for half an hour trying to do the same thing over and over again. And I'm there with family and I go, hey guys, hey, can you figure this out? I can't, I don't know what to do here. I actually didn't even say that. I was frustrated. I just handed it to them and said try. All they did was push it down, twist it, done.

Lucas P. Johnson: Seconds. I was pissed off. I was so pissed off. But see, the thing is you realize the people that you love in those moments, you realize that people that care about you in those moments, people that aren't taking advantage of you. Relationships are give and take. It's not just give, give, give, give, give. If you're giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, it's time to stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. It's time to get real with yourself and take a look at the five signs. Like we said, number one. Conversation is about them all the time. That's a telltale sign. Take the necessary precautions, take the necessary steps to ensure that that person is not just using you. Take time to build your tribe. And we will really focus in on that and the Dream Mastery Workbook as well as the course that runs in parallel with it.

Lucas P. Johnson: So check that out. We'll have those linked below. They're ready for you if you're interested in pre-ordering or signing up. We are super excited to bring those to you. A quick plug. Check them out. This is going to be life-changing and we go into some serious topics just like we do in the show. But we dive even deeper. Real life applications, real life success stories and making things happen in your life that otherwise wouldn't without a group, without having individual coaching and so forth. And the training, I'm number one supporter of coaches. I wouldn't be able to do most of the stuff I do in my life if I didn't have coaches because we're not the best, we're not the best at everything. Even professional athletes have coaches. Nothing to be ashamed of. There's people out that have done it, they've experienced it.

Lucas P. Johnson: The people that have overcome it them and went through a hell of a lot to get to where they are. They have experience. They've done it. They know how to be successful doing that. And in my job, I'm a risk management professional, specializing in cyber risk. Now I won't say that I know everything about cyber risk. Who could, who can unless your IQ is off the charts? But I know enough about risk management to make my job somewhat easy. Again, I am a risk management professional that's constantly learning. And I like to take my life one day at a time, learning, making things happen. But I also have the opportunity to think for myself which is great. So when you take the time to think about those people, are you giving them the time of day or are you talking about just yourself all the time?

Lucas P. Johnson: Are they talking about themselves all the time? Okay. Number two, the little things are not relevant. They don't know a lot about you. I've actually seen this firsthand with people that I like to say are my best friends. Now, not with them because they wouldn't be my best friends or like brothers to me if they didn't know the little things. I've spent 23 years of my life, 24 years of my life getting to know them. They know the little things. Now, some of these people in our lives, you've only known for a few weeks, few months and they seem like they're your best friends. But they don't know the little things or they don't care to know the little things. And if they don't know a lot about you, there probably is another advantage to being with you. Some of us have friends that just want to go out to party, to drink. They never just want to hang out. They never just want to go get lunch or dinner or play a sport. They just want to drink. They just want to party. They just want to do something special that is for them. And then a lot of the times, this comes down to status or things you have in common. But again, just because you have things in common doesn't mean the person actually cares about you.

Lucas P. Johnson: The little things are not relevant. They don't know a lot about you. That's sign number two. Number three, when shit hits the fan, they disappear. Yeah, yeah. We've all been there. When shit hits the fan, you need to make sure that you are there for your people. You need to be there for the people that you care about and they'll be there for you. But whenever you have things that are constantly going on or things that are going on in your life and they constantly disappear from your life, they're never there when you need them, that's a telltale sign that those people are one, not good friends, probably not a good person or they need a lot of personal development and maybe some maturity to have a real life relationship or even just to be a good person. I mean it's simple as that.

Lucas P. Johnson: If someone's family member passes away and maybe you're their only friend, are you going to be that person that is not there for them? I know right now we got COVID going on so it's a little bit different. But you should at least be there for them and they'll be there for you. And if they weren't there for you, there's the boot. Peace. Your tribe has just got one person less in it now. Sometimes that's for the better. Number four, circumstances they hang out. Have you ever had a friend that only wanted to hang out when you had cute girls or boys over? And this is maybe going back to the school days, the K through 12 days. Because I think we've all been there, that there's always the people. Oh, I can't hang out. Oh, you're going to have cute boys and girls over.

Lucas P. Johnson: Yeah. Oh yeah, I can come now. I'm free. I'll make myself available. Yeah, it's really funny how you start to have people like that for their own benefits or they only want to hang out with you because you were the life of the party or, you know, there's always circumstances to hang out. You can't just do things just because you want to. You can't just get a lunch because you want to. Or hey, if we go to lunch, you have to buy, you have to treat. There's always an excuse. That's telltale sign number four. Number five, unwilling to set aside their perspective to see yours. We talk a lot about perspective here. Defy, dream, love. All three of those play a vital part in making this decision for you or you making a decision for yourself.

Lucas P. Johnson: If a person's unwilling to set aside their perspective to see yours or they never give you the time of day, there's the boot. That's telltale sign number five. You really need to take time to analyze whether their perspective is good on you or whether it's nothing at all. Is it worth your thousand words that we talked about in the last episode? If you haven't yet, check out the last episode, A Thousand Words Left. Check it out. Pretty cool. Episode 21. It's really amazing to think about these five signs because this concept stemmed from driving. People behind you that are driving fast or trying to drive faster than you are. But you are that bridge. You are that divider. They cannot pass you unless they get into a passing lane. You are the gap. You are stopping them from reaching their optimal speed.

Lucas P. Johnson: But you're also allowing them to be the rabbit. By you going above the speed limit, by them tailgating you, typically causes you to speed up a bit. But you are now the target for whenever someone of authority might pull you over. And they're the rabbit. They're most likely not going to get pulled over. They're just going to keep on cruising by. Think about how that applies to life. That person is just going to keep on cruising by. You're going to do things. You're going to mess up. You're going to make mistakes. And they're going to get credit for those mistakes too because you're letting them. Distance yourself from the people that don't want to help you, that don't want to see you successful. Distance yourself from the people that just don't care about you. So how are you going to overcome it? Three things. Be direct, stick up for yourself and know your worth. Being direct is what we stand for on this show. Defy expectations, dream big and love deeply. But we love to have people that say things how they are. I'm from the Northern United States and up here at least the East Coast, Northeastern, people say it how it is. I'm perfectly fine with it. I like people saying what's on their mind. I like people telling me if things are good or bad. And if they are bad, how can I improve?

Lucas P. Johnson: Be direct. Maybe those people might stop tailgating. You maybe be like, oh, I didn't realize I was doing it, just skating by life. Or maybe you'll just, there's the boot. Stick up for yourself all the time. Don't ever let anyone belittle and I think that's, I don't even say that. You need to be able to stick up for yourself and be your own person. Life's too short. It's a great day to have a great day. It's a great day to be your own person. Know your worth. Most importantly, know your worth. You are worth so much. You are one of a kind. Nothing that you do is ever going to mean that you're worthless. If you mess up, you're not worthless. You screw up, you're not worthless. You fall, you get right back up. You make things happen in your life.

Lucas P. Johnson: You're the only one that's looking out for yourself. Hell, you might have people all over that care about you and love you and support you and they might be tailgating. And there might be those people that love you and also tailgating. And there's also those people that just love you and support you. But thing is you are ultimately the one responsible. You are the one that needs to go and make shit happen. And you are going to be the one that's held accountable when it's all said and done. Keep on being amazing. Keep doing things that are for you, for your tribe. Keep defying, dreaming and loving.

Lucas P. Johnson: With that said, our show is completely listener supported. So please consider supporting us by checking out our Patreon membership community where you can become one of our elite supporters and gain exclusive access to early releases, live streams and Q&A. We have a few different tiers available with some pretty sweet perks. So make sure to check them out and consider supporting the show. Go to ProjectDreamMastery.com and click the red button that says Patreon to learn more. If you have not already, please make sure to review the show, subscribe, like and share so we can reach more amazing listeners like you. All of our shows are available on both audio, video and written form. So make sure to check out our website to access the full experience. Again, thank you so much for joining us today. We look forward to seeing you on the next episode of to come. So excited to have you and we look forward to seeing you on the next one. Talk soon.